tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61785292009-02-20T19:33:48.308-05:00Birdwalkan utterly random discussionmenoreply@blogger.comBlogger133125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1138329144007780892006-01-26T21:30:00.000-05:002006-10-24T23:05:41.691-04:00If I had a million dollarsI'd be rich.Here's what I'd do if I had enough money so I never had to work again (unless I wanted to.)Buy modest yet charming house on very large tract of land not too far from civilizationBuild luxurious barn and well-fenced paddock areasBuy an ATV (for gettin' around the property)Buy two horses and a goat. The horses should be even-tempered and be pals with each othermenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1137424960299614312006-01-16T10:15:00.000-05:002006-10-24T23:05:41.605-04:00Pushing the envelopeAll right. That's it. If you have the right to drag your kid into the office because he doesn't have school and you don't feel like paying for/arranging for childcare, then I have the right to bring my dog into the office with me. I think that's fair.Plus, if you're going to bring your little angel to work, could you please, um, actually WORK instead of parking your fat ass menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1136746063407737512006-01-08T13:46:00.000-05:002006-10-24T23:05:41.511-04:00People watching at the StarbucksI have always said that each Starbucks has its own personality. For example, the one in the middle of the town where I live is populated by homeless folks and one not-homeless person who I am so fascinated by I can't take my eyes off him -- he sets himself up at a table against a wall with his laptop, piles of paper that I'm sure are part of some sort of filing menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1131141653909307502005-11-04T16:54:00.000-05:002006-10-24T23:05:41.432-04:00A good idea gone horribly wrongI set out with the best intentions of creating a simple little Ipod cozy and apparently something went horribly wrong with its genetic makeup because here's what came out.It's totally lumpy and misshapen, a horrible, Frankenstein-like thing...I'm sorry, Owen, of course you don't actually have to USE this. All the other kids on the playground will laugh at you.In menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1130387719384337392005-10-26T23:45:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:41.355-04:00Please to abandon all hope of any discernible theme in the following postAhhh. Finally, the rain has stopped and the weather has turned crisp and clear. This is, by far, my absolute favorite time of year. I've already broken out Mickey's little sweaters and my gloves and scarfs. (Scarves?)So a few months ago my face started breaking out like crazy. I tried my best to keep it under control using amenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1128900068518828292005-10-09T19:16:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:41.277-04:00A Fish StoryA stormy night. A long drive ahead. As we climb into the car -- me, Michael and Mickey -- I say to my husband, "Now be careful. Everything I care about is in this one car."Michael replies, "Everything?""Yes, everything. In this one car."Pause."Oh. Cause I like my fish too."menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1128456330776324462005-10-04T16:04:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:41.205-04:00Is it time to hibernate yet?Yes the weather is unseasonably warm. Which I hate, by the way. (COLD, bring on the COLD, dammit!) But my office…well…let me put it this way. Have you heard of a temperature measurement called Kelvin? It’s used by scientists to measure stuff that gets really, really cold. Well, the temperature in my office right now could be measured using the Kelvin scale, it’s that menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1127852798377385932005-09-27T16:24:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:41.102-04:00Animal CrackersI have spoken before about Mickey being allowed in our bed. And I know I have mentioned in passing how he does not merely sleep in the bed, he attaches himself like Velcro to me. He’s like a tick. But recently I’ve come to the realization that he’s got some sort of pattern worked out in his head for the whole sleeping procedure, and it goes like this:10 PM: While Mom is in the menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1126109946884253822005-09-07T12:19:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:41.025-04:00Ouch!I know this is a small price to pay (no pun intended) compared to what some people are going through, but still -- it's rather shocking to see prices that high. Good thing I drive a teeny little car and only have a seven-mile commute. menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1125760908268129292005-09-03T11:19:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:40.939-04:00Blast from the pastI remembered these two posts from my old blog and I wanted to just kind of link to them from here for no other reason than I wanted to make them a part of this blog in some way. I'm sure there's a more sophisticated way to do this but I don't have the brainpower right now to figure it out.so anyway...here's the link to one story about my grandmother, and there's a link to menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1125674388070446382005-09-02T10:31:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:40.846-04:00How Did This Happen?About a million years ago, while examining a pitiful comp that represented weeks of work on a rather trying project that was going nowhere fast, a former boss looked up at me and said, "How did this happen?"That's the feeling I'm left with while watching New Orleans and the surrounding areas go to frickin' hell in a handbasket. How did this happen?I am not the smartest person menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1125153194249956432005-08-27T10:07:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:39.251-04:00Chat somewhere else, whydontcha?(Warning: if you're tired of hearing me talk about poop, don't read this.)So yesterday I'm at work and 10:30 rolls around, which means it's time for me to visit the bathroom. As previously discussed on this blog, I am really regular (and damn proud of it) but when I have to go, I HAVE TO GO. Otherwise the whole system gets messed up and I work too frickin' hard menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1125150984915078252005-08-27T09:56:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:39.172-04:00To the victor go the spoils...er...swine...We won this on the boardwalk at Point Pleasant. If everyone in the background looks kinda wilted its because it was approximately eight thousand degrees and 200% humidity at the time. (Beamed in from my cellphone.) menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1124634805958082482005-08-21T09:50:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:39.098-04:00Incoherent, pain-induced ramblingsIt is Sunday morning, I have a headache as a result of grinding my teeth all night, so I'm lying in a darkened room with my dog and we're watching SpongeBob Squarepants and waiting for the Advil to kick in and I thought I'd rid my brain of the random thoughts and observances floating around in there and see if that helps.The blog is always greenerIn some ways, I menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1123187910504868462005-08-04T16:15:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:39.011-04:00I have seen the enemy, and it has enormous earsSeveral weeks ago I noticed that all the shrubs outside the condo were shrinking. The shape looked roughly the same, but they seemed to be getting steadily smaller. I thought maybe I was imagining it, but eventually it became clear: they were getting smaller.Also, the flowers on my hydrangea suddenly disappeared. This was especially disconcerting menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1122424201041376162005-07-28T20:13:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:37.177-04:00The opposite of loveI have dated a lot of assholes. I'm pretty sure that I dated way more than my share of assholes, actually, like a lot of women I think I was attracted to them. Even though the type of guy might have shifted, from "bad boys" to Hispanics to artsy guys to corporate types, or whatever, but I think I was attracted to something in them, some trait that they all had in common. An menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1122592852447147302005-07-28T18:40:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:37.248-04:00HeartbreakerAs you may know, I am a dog person. Big time. I like dogs better than people, for the most part, and therefore am on a first name basis with all of the dogs in my complex (their owners, not so much.) Some dogs I like better than others. For example, I have known Suki the Newfoundland since she was 10 weeks old and looked like a black porcupine. She is now fully grown and the sweetest menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1122325596071680332005-07-25T16:52:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:37.110-04:00The Rules, part DeuxI work for marketing. Which is not the same as Public Relations. Please do not come to me for the sixteenth time asking for a clip that ran in some newspaper when I have repeatedly told you that you need to ask someone in PR for that. (In other words, not me, because I DON'T WORK FOR PR.) It is, frankly, insulting to me that you can't seem to tell the difference between thosemenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1121995679454288082005-07-21T21:26:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:37.042-04:00The RulesNo, this isn't about that stupid book from a few years back that advocates treating men like shit to win their eternal devotion. This is about My Rules. Everybody's got 'em...that little mental list of rules that they have about the right way to do things. Here's mine.Please do not talk to me while I am peeing. Women love to do this, for some reason, I have no idea why, but I'll be in menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1121115537538154572005-07-11T16:38:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:36.972-04:00Miss/Don't Miss (a partial list)Things I miss:The smell of percolating coffee in the morningTaylor hamPop TartsCheap plastic tableclothsThe screened porchGrapefruit spoonsVacation Bible SchoolHot vinyl car seatsSoda in glass bottlesShoelaces with rainbows on themBathsPajamasSwimming all day until your lungs hurt and your ears were full of waterSunburns that peelThose small triangular windows in menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1120778592768142452005-07-07T19:18:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:36.901-04:00Peapod windfallLast week when Peapod brought my groceries, they forgot the bread and the entenmann's cookies (those are for my husband.) No problem. They credited me. Life goes on.This week they brought me TONS of extra stuff I totally didn't order. Unpacking the bags was like Christmas!A box of Honey Bunches of Oats (with Strawberries!)A bottle of tartar sauceA bottle of dijon mustardA huge loafmenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1120778194718778142005-07-07T19:06:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:36.827-04:00Givers and takersThere are two types of people in this world. One is the type of person who heads straight to the handicapped stall in the bathroom -- you know, the one that's bigger than my first apartment -- even if the other stalls are empty. This is also the same type of person who goes into the kitchen and takes all the Splenda out of the coffee service area for herself and keeps it in her menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1119316661869177102005-06-20T21:09:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:36.763-04:00...and the meringue weptI would like to say thank you to the old lady who helped my husband find the cream of tartar in our local supermarket. I knew I was sending him into unfamiliar territory, but I did say that he'd find the cream of tartar in the baking goods section. He looked, couldn't find it, even asked an employee (who told him to "look by the fish" -- no, dolt, that's tartar sauce, not menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1118781601860575352005-06-14T16:37:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:36.697-04:00Oh, YUCKI uncovered this little bit of wisdom while doing research on an article for couples trying to conceive.This site suggests that in honor of Father’s Day you “borrow” someone else’s kids, then…“After you've handed back the kids, revel in your coupledom. Enjoy a grown-ups' dinner out on the town — or a backyard barbecue for two. Let him choose the restaurant or the menu (even if it's that menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6178529.post-1118777373893497742005-06-14T15:29:00.000-04:002006-10-24T23:05:36.630-04:00FlickrThis is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.menoreply@blogger.com